A Conversation

with

William The Conqueror

by

Voyle A. Glover, Esq.

Her body squeezed every inch of space in the large chair. She'd bought it special after two years of misery in a chair that didn't quite accommodate her abundant girth. Alice Katz had long been a woman given to the creature comforts in life and although the chair had been paid for by her own funds, she counted it as a small sacrifice. After all, her job involved sitting virtually all day, every day, excepting for the times she went to lunch or the bathroom. If one were to visit the Hampton Valley Choice Accommodations Clinic on any given day, Alice would most likely be at her desk seated in her huge brown chair.

And probably, there'd be a young expectant mother in a chair in front of the desk. It was the busiest clinic in the state.

Today was no exception.

Alice gazed at the young woman seated before her. She listened to her own voice running through the standard spiel she gave every young mother seeking advice on whether to have her baby or to abort. Idly, she wondered why they even bothered discussing the realities of having the baby. Every woman she'd ever talked to came to her for one thing: an abortion. They all wanted to know the cost, the pain and how long they'd be out of commission. Most of them wanted something else, too. And Alice gave that freely. They all wanted assurance that they were doing the right thing and not something illegal. Many, if not most of them came with guilt and fear.

She'd actually had one mother sit weeping in her office one day tell her that she was certain she'd go to hell and God would never forgive her. Alice assured her that such beliefs and rhetoric was merely a ploy engaged in by the "Lifers" (as she like to call them) to put everyone on this tremendous guilt trip. The girl had felt much better afterwards and had gone on with the abortion.

Alice's studied the girl in front of her even as she talked, the words flowing effortlessly and without thought. The girl was pretty. Exceptionally so. Idly, she began to wonder about the baby and what kind of child she would have had. Mentally, she shook herself free from the thought. She used to do a lot of that but had stopped because it frustrated her. She found herself becoming emotional about things and she could not afford to identify with the fetus in any way. That was unproductive.

"And finally, you'll be checked by the doctor shortly afterwards to make sure everything is all right. It's no worse than getting a tooth pulled, hon." Her mouth split widely into an automatic smile, exposing a wide band of smoke-yellowed teeth.

The young woman managed a weak smile, fiddled nervously with her purse strap, then asked, "And you're sure that this is legal. I'm not like too far along? I mean, the baby, uh, the, uh, the fe..."

Alice flashed a tired smile as she interrupted the girl. "The fetus, hon. Fetus. Not a baby. Get that thought out of your mind. The United States Supreme Court has ruled that life does not begin until the third tri-mester, hon. Frankly, my personal view is that it isn't a baby until it's out and kicking. Until then, it's a big lump of misery that's merely tissue."

The girl's eyes widened. Something had triggered some thoughts. Alice recognized the look and cursed herself inwardly. She did that a lot. Didn't know when to leave well enough alone. She vowed she was going to keep her mouth shut more and be as basic as possible.

"But, uh, I've seen the pictures, you know, the sound pictures where they show a ba...uh, a fetus and it's moving and has hands and looks just like a baby."

Alice smiled at the young woman and said softly, "That's right, hon. And probably I'm wrong about it. That's why I don't sit on the Supreme Court. We have to leave such decisions to men who are wiser than us to decide."

The girl started to say something but perceived Alice was not receptive to further discussion on the subject. She slumped back, suddenly unsure of her decision.

Alice stared at her for a few moments, angry with herself, then busied herself with papers on her desk. She yawned politely as she shuffled the papers, suddenly feeling tired, weary of the so called "counseling" sessions which were little more than psychological guilt assuaging sessions and smooth sales pitches designed to keep the clinics paying for themselves. Alice felt no guilt over that. After all, she provided a service to the public. But it did get old. And she was weary of it all.

"Hon, you finish filling out the form here and I'll be right back." Alice gave the woman a clipboard with a form, handed her a pen, then with a grunt, raised herself with obvious difficulty from the chair. Self-conscious at her bulk and the effort it took to remove herself from the chair, she smiled as she rose. I've got to lose some weight. Anyone not knowing probably would think I'm a client here.

She smiled at the woman and said softly, "Be right back, hon."

When she returned, the girl was sitting quietly, staring aimlessly at a painting on the wall.

Alice picked up the clipboard resting on her desk, glanced at it and asked rhetorically, "All done? Good. Well, very good. I see you are now out of high school. That's good."

She wanted to ask her about her boyfriend but decided this one would not stand up to certain lines of questioning. Sometimes the boyfriends became a serious problem. She hated it when they got involved. And they made her insane with anger. What right did they think they had? It was not their body that had to endure the suffering, the pain and grief. And most of them wouldn't hang around to take care of the baby even if it did reach term.

She sat heavily down in the chair, reached over for her cigarettes, then stopped. This one looked like she'd resent the smoke or might even get sick. That happened once. Right on the floor. She shivered at the memory and it helped quell the desire to have a cigarette. Instead, she took a deep swallow of coffee that was now cool.

Still holding the clipboard and looking at it as though she needed to reference it, Alice said, "Beth, uh, I can call you Beth, can't I, hon?" She smiled at the girl, then without waiting for the customary nod she always got, she continued, still looking intently at the clipboard: "Beth, you say here that you live with your mother and father. Do they know you're here?"

The girl shook her head, her eyes widening. "Please don't involve them. They wouldn't understand."

"Well, some parents do understand, hon. Have you tried talking about it with them?"

The girl shook her head. She took a deep breath, then said firmly, "You don't understand. My father is a minister. Worse, he's a Baptist minister. And more than that, he's very much against abortion. I cannot involve them in this thing at all. It's bad enough they know I'm pregnant and know I don't want the baby. They'd try and stop me if they knew about it."

Alice groaned inwardly. She wondered how she might steer the girl to another clinic, then rejected it. After all, she owed it to the girl. And one didn't turn away the "fat cats" as the doctor jokingly referred to the girls. They were what paid the light bill. And Alice's salary.

Alice glanced at the girl then back to the clipboard, holding back any comments. She realized the girl was arguing with herself over the whole matter and experience taught her that any attempt to dissuade her could actually drive her away.

Suddenly, Alice Katz recoiled backwards in her chair. The clipboard clattered to the top of the desk and an audible gasp came from her as she clutched at her chest. Fear washed over her face and she stared fixedly, eyes widened with fear and amazement.

"What is...Who...Who are you. Where did you come from?"

She whirled her head around the room, eyes darting to every corner. She even looked over her shoulder, then whirled back around, staring once more at the person seated before her.

A slim, youthful face smiled at her and said softly, "I have been here since Elizabeth was here."

Alice choked, then in a husky voice said, "This is a trick. An illusion. You have not been here. Where is Beth?"

She leaped out of her chair and with an agility that she'd not demonstrated in many years, strode around her desk, glancing at the front to assure herself Elizabeth was not crouched there, then marched out the door and into the foyer. Her eyes scanned the entire room quickly. She glanced back into the room. The young man was still seated in front of her desk. Alice opened one of the doors leading back to the operating rooms and examining rooms. She spotted Peggy, a nurse, standing by a small tray filling a syringe.

"Peggy! Have you seen a young woman come through that door? Light brown hair. Slim. Green dress."

Peggy frowned and said, "No. I've been here about five minutes. Could have been before that, but no one's been through that door since I've been here."

Alice whirled and went back to her office. She'd get to the bottom of this.

The young man remained seated, unmoving, a serene, angelic look about him. He was one of the most beautiful young men Alice had ever seen. His features were perfectly chiseled. His pale grey eyes showed intelligence and wisdom beyond his years.

She steeled herself inwardly as she regained her composure. There was a trick. She wasn't sure how it was done, but it was a trick. The girl was seated before her one instant and vanished the next. In her place sat this young man.

Alice went through it all in her mind step by step. She recalled looking at the girl, then glancing at the clipboard. But even when she'd looked at the clipboard, the girl had remained in her vision. There had been no time, not even the fraction of a second, when the girl had been out of her line of sight. But in the blink of an eye, the girl had vanished and this young man sat there.

"Young man, I do not know who you are, but you have no business in here. You have no appointment with me or anyone in here."

"Oh, but I do have an appointment."

Alice sighed. "Son, if you don't leave, I will have to have you removed."

"Is that not your intention, anyway?" The intensity of his eyes intimidated her.

Alice frowned. "You're not making sense, young man."

"Are you not planning on removing me?" His eyebrows arched just slightly and she felt that somehow she was being mocked.

"Yes. I certainly am, unless you remove yourself."

The young man's eyebrows furrowed and with a slight frown, he said softly, "My efforts to remove myself are not scheduled to begin for many months. I am not ready to leave."

It was becoming very, very weird in here. The thoughts echoed through Alice's brain even as she pondered the responses and the entire sequence of events.

Her curiosity piqued, Alice asked, "Young man, what is your name?"

He smiled and said, "I am to be called William, after William the Conqueror."

Alice managed a weak smile, then said, "William, eh?" She pursed her lips, thought a few moments, then looked at her coffee cup.

That's the only thing she'd done. It had to be the coffee. Elizabeth had dropped something into her coffee and she was hallucinating.

Alice got up again, this time with more difficulty and as she rounded the desk, she said, "Don't go 'way. I'll be right back."

She lumbered quickly to the door leading to the little rooms, opened it and said loudly, "Peg! Can you come here a sec?"

Peggy entered moments later, eyebrows raised. "What's up? Still can't find your client?"

Alice grabbed her firmly by the arm and steered her into her office, walking over to one side of the room. "Tell me what you see."

The woman looked at Alice, made a face which clearly expressed an opinion that Alice was not to be believed for asking such an inane question, then said matter of factly, "Well, I see a messy desk, a cup of coffee, a chair, a plant, two pictures that are miserable representations of art, and a very nice looking young man who looks like a perfect choice for a date for my daughter." Peggy grinned, then added, "And I see one very weird acting fat lady." With that, she turned and left.

Alice choked back a retort, shook her head angrily and glared at Paggy's back.. Peggy's idea of getting someone to lose weight was to make them hate it and that meant constantly reminding them of their condition. As Alice sat down in her chair, she wondered how Peggy could possibly think she wasn't aware of her obesity night and day. It was like not knowing you were pregnant at nine months.

Wearily, Alice leaned on her desk, peering at the young man. She said, "I don't know who you are, William, if that's your name, but this is really very strange and I don't feel very well. If it's all right with you, I'd just as soon you left the office and left me alone. And get Beth back here. However you two did your little trick, undo it." Her voice was now husky, totally absent of emotion.

The young man smiled and Alice found herself drawn to him. A feeling of genuine warmth spread through her being. She could not recall meeting a more likable young man.

He said, "I am only here because I was brought here. I did not choose to come to this place." He shivered, then added, "This is a place of death and I do not like it. I have great fear in this place. I have heard the silent screams of pain which you cannot hear." His eyes moistened and he stared for a long moment at Alice.

Softly, with eyes lowered, he said, "And I fear you greatly."

Alice's eyes widened and her heart went soft as she sensed the fear in the boy, saw the fear in his eyes and although she could not comprehend how she made him afraid, it bothered her very much that she was a cause of this beautiful young boy's fear.

Her voice husky from emotion, Alice asked, "William, I am sorry I have made you afraid. But why do you fear me?"

The boy looked at her for a long moment, his grey eyes searching hers, then replied: "Because you are seeking to end my existence."

Alice's head snapped back in shock. "What? Me, send you to death? Son, that's preposterous. I could never do such a thing."

"Yes. Yes you can." He paused a long moment, then asked quietly, "Don't you know yet who I am?"

Her eyes widened. "Who you are? We have never met, to my knowledge."

The boy smiled. "Oh, we have. At least I have been in your presence. You talked about me with my mother. You and she discussed my future."

Alice was shaking her head. Certain ideas were beginning to come to her and she refused to accept them.

"Son, I assure you, I have never met you or your mother before."

"But you just spoke with her." The voice was matter of fact.

"I have only spoken with one girl in my office today, William, and that is...."

The eyes were staring at her and she knew. The thoughts she'd kept at bay could no longer be denied. They came relentlessly.

"You are Beth's..." She could not bring herself to say the word baby.

The boy nodded.

"But you are a fetus, not a boy, not a child. A fetus."

"I live. Therefore, I am."

"You have not been born."

"My future sits before you. You would slay what I should become."

"You cannot have a future if you have not been...been..." The implications were coming to her now.

"I cannot have a future life if you rob me of my present life. But for you, and those to whom you direct my mother, I would one day have life as you see it now." He shifted slightly in his chair, then continued.

"Would you seek the life of one such as myself if he were sitting before you as I am? Would you seek my life in this form?"

Alice almost whispered the answer. "No, of course not."

"If you would not slay me in this form, why would you slay me before I reach this form?"

Alice was silent.

The boy's eyes suddenly widened as he leaned forward slightly, and with a voice tinged with anger, demanded: "What right do you have to deny me the opportunity to have this life, to enjoy life as you have enjoyed life, to walk as you have walked upon the earth, and to seek my future, as you have sought yours? If your mother had sat where Elizabeth sat, and if she were counseled whilst she carried you yet unborn, what words would you have spoken to your mother and to the counselor? Would you plead for your future, as I plead for mine? Would you ask for a chance to be born and be nurtured to maturity? Or would you have agreed with the counselor that a fetus is but tissue with no future?"

The young man stood now, looking down at Alice. "Have you the right to declare which fetus shall have a future and which fetus shall not? What is this right of death? It is not a right of life. From whence does this power, this right of death come?" He paused, awaiting for an answer that did not come.

"You spoke of men on a Supreme Court. From what power did they receive the right to declare that a fetus is but tissue and therefore may be denied life, denied a future? Were they so denied? They declare such things now, while they have their future in hand and are enjoying the product of union of their mother and father, to wit, themselves. Would they now kill themselves? I think not.

"But they are willing to kill others who come after themselves. Is that not the highest form of hypocrisy? Is that the ultimate selfishness? One who accepts the future that is his right and enjoys it, but then denies such a future to those who follow him."

The young man moved away from the desk, backing slowly into the middle of the room. Alice sat transfixed, her entire being shaken, her mind reeling. This young man's words thundered in her soul.

He continued: "Is it not true that each and every tissue that is called by you a fetus, is capable of becoming a human being, such as yourself?" This time his question was not rhetorical and his tone demanded an answer.

Alice nodded, then said, "Well, not just like me, but yes, a human being. That's true."

"Is it true that it is unlawful to take away the life of another human being?"

Alice nodded again. "Under some circumstances, yes. Not always. There is such a thing as capital punishment."

"But are not such things done after one human being has murdered another?"

Alice was staring intently at the young man. "Yes."

"If a man slays another human being and prevents that human being from reaching the age of 2 years, is that murder?"

Impatiently, she snapped, "Yes, of course."

"If a man slays another human being and prevents that human being from reaching the age of 1 year, is that murder?"

Alice nodded.

"And if the human is prevented from reaching one month, or one day, is that murder?"

Alice sighed. "Yes."

The young man gripped the back of the chair and peered intently at Alice. "If a man prevents a baby from reaching the age of one minute, is that murder?"

The big woman's face reddened with indignation and impatience. "Yes, you know it is. Why ask ridiculous questions?"

The boy stared unblinking at Alice as he continued: "Because if it is murder to stop a baby from enjoying even one minute of his life, can it be anything less to prevent that same child from reaching that one minute outside the womb of his mother, to prevent that same child from enjoying his period of growth and movement and feeding and nurture while in the protection of the womb of his mother? If such is not life, what then is it?

The boy regained his seat and added, "Merely a mass of tissue? Well suppose that is true. Will not that tissue develop into a form which is human and if permitted to grow, into a baby?"

His voice lowered. "Logic says that if the tissue growing in the womb of a mother, that product of a union between her and the father, is permitted to grow to fruition, a human being will in fact emerge. Thus, the real question seems to be one of when, not if, mankind shall be permitted to kill another human being." William's finger pointed at the clock as he spoke the word "when", his voice rising sharply, highlighting the word.

"Your law forbids your taking the existence of another human being away once that human reaches a precise stage in his existence."

The young man folded his arms and continue his argument: "Since science and human experience says a human being will almost certainly emerge from that mass you have chose to call mere tissue, or a fetus, then to say one may destroy that tissue is to say one may destroy that human being, for absent the intervention of one such as yourself and a doctor or other circumstance, then a human being, a human life, will certainly emerge".

His voice rose and his arm swept up as he continued. "But incredibly, persons like you will seek to overcome that fact by declaring that growing life form to be mere tissue, or will use some other less human sounding word such as fetus, denying the fact that this is a human life form at its earliest stage of development."

William moved backwards one step and held his hands out as he continued to plead his case. "You cannot deny this is human tissue. You cannot deny this tissue is growing into a human being. You cannot deny that there must be a beginning of that process. The beginning is the merging of the sperm and the egg. There is thereafter a growing human being. That human is at the very beginning of his or her life. You were at that stage of your existence. But no one ever decided to end your existence, to stop your growing into completeness. However, you are quick to declare that I have no right to continue my existence as a growing human. Instead, you've chosen to call me a piece of tissue."

The young man's eyes burned as he stared at Alice. His voice was low, almost a whisper. "But I am a human being. What you see here is my future. You see me in my future. And if I am in my mother's womb, am I any less human? If you could not slay me in this form and could not and will not destroy my life at this age, what right do you have to destroy me before this age? What right do you have to destroy me at all? Who gave you the right and power to declare my death, to declare my right to life to be ended by the utterance of a few words which deem me to be mere tissue? I am tissue that is human. I am flesh of my mother and my father. That is human flesh in that womb. It is not dog. It is not a weed to be pulled. It's origins were and are human. It is the method and manner in which all human life begins and grows.

"I am not a wart to be removed. I am not a tumor to be destroyed. I am not a cancer in the body. I am a human product, born of the union of two human species, growing towards life and humanity. Only God can declare me to be without right to live. Art thou God? Will you play God" Will you assist those who would destroy growing humans with as little regard to the lives taken as one takes with the tossing out of garbage?"

The young man folded his arms across his chest. His voice rose to a normal level now and became matter-of-fact as he continued. "There is no argument that can say the tissue was anything less than a developing human being. To say it is only tissue is dishonest and a lie. Such reasoning seeks to place that growing human in the same category as a tumor or an organ. But no tumor can grow into a human being and no organ can grow into a human being. Therefore, the tissue that is me is life for I grow each and every hour and minute. I gain strength. I eat. I can move. I can feel. I am sensitive to extremes and thus am protected by water in my mother's womb."

He looked for a long moment at Alice, then with disgust dripping from his words, he said with a hiss: "And you would call me mere tissue!" The contempt lay naked in his eyes and voice.

His eyes misted, then the young man continued. "Therefore, to take away what you choose to call tissue is to take away life. Logic alone dictates that. To take away the tissue is to take away a human future. To take away that tissue, if that is what you must call me, is to take away my human life. But for your action, a human life would have continued to grow and would have reached a time when that human changed environments and left the mother's womb. But you prevent that life from continuing.

"The only difference between you and a murderer of a twenty year old victim is merely the timing. One murderer waited until the victim developed into a twenty year old human. Your timing permits you to kill a human before he or she reaches such an age. But whether you kill a human at age twenty or at the first hour, that human nevertheless ceases to live. One merely got the chance to live 20 years, that's all.

"If that young twenty year old victim had been slain while yet a developing human in his mother's womb, he would have been just as dead, his future just as robbed, save for twenty years he actually got to enjoy in fact."

William smiled suddenly and said softly, "Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you understand I plead with you for my life? I plead just as you would plead, just as those Supreme Court humans would plead if their lives were about to be aborted. They could not be for the taking of a human life if theirs was the life about to be taken. They would stand, as I stand, and argue to please let them continue to grow and have the opportunity those who seek to kill them had, to wit, to continue growing.

"They would declare that they have much good to contribute to mankind. They would argue that they will be judges but if aborted, will not enjoy such a privilege and will not be able to know such a future. Indeed, they will not become a member of the human race but will become, in fact, a bloody mass in the garbage dumps of humanity.

"Yes, they and the doctors who stab those growing humans would scream if suddenly their futures were about to be destroyed. They would declare it wrong, unlawful and evil to destroy their chance to live, to grow, to emerge into the world of humanity. Is it not selfish to rob millions of growing humans of their chance to a future with humanity while enjoying that right one's self?"

The young man moved now to the desk and leaning on it, his gaze fixed on Alice, he spoke, his voice strong and vibrant with truth: "To take away the tissue growing in my mother's womb is to take away me, my life, my future. Can't you see that?"

He moved quickly back to the chair and sat down. Alice was trembling. She knew all the arguments for abortion and had made them, but she could not escape the one conclusion that impaled her and forced, yea, demanded, consideration.

She could not deny that absent her intervention, a human being would continue to grow and would walk and talk and be a part of humanity. She could not deny the fact that she was removing humans from the face of the earth, was depopulating the earth of human life by arranging it so that life never had the chance to emerge. She could not deny that the tissue would, if left alone, emerge one day as a human child and would grow to be a member of the human race.

She blinked back tears and as she blinked, the young man disappeared and through the tears, dimly, she saw the familiar green of the dress Elizabeth was wearing.

The girl was staring intently at Alice and talking. "Are you all right? Ma'm, are you all right?"

Alice jerked back, startled, then said, "Yes, yes. I'm fine."

She looked around the room quickly, searching for the young man. "And where have you been, Beth?"

"Been? Why I've been here. You appeared to be having some difficulty seeing and I uh, I did step out briefly to get you a glass of water." She moved a glass of water forward on the desk. Alice stared at it.

"You've been here all the time?"

"Well, except for when I left to get some water." She looked down and her face flushed. She added, her voice almost a whisper, "And I did slip into the bathroom. I had to uh, well, to uh, pray, you know, just a little. I guess I'm pretty confused and scared of doing the wrong thing."

She paused a long moment, then, almost apologetically, said, "I'm not going to have the abortion after all. I, uh, I just don't think it would be right." She paused for a long moment, looked shyly at Alice, then said, "I know this sounds strange, but I guess one reason is I want to see what she looks like."

Alice's eyebrows raised. "And how do you know it's going to be a girl?"

"I don't. He wants a boy, though."

Alice took a deep breath. She was faking her way through this and wasn't sure how much longer she could last. It was clear to her that she had been hallucinating. And she was just as sure that the many, many thousands of abortions she'd helped arrange and even assisted in some cases, had damaged her psyche in a way she'd not realized. She needed a vacation. A long one.

Alice stood and held out her hand. "Hon, I wish you the best and I hope it turns out to be a girl."

The young woman stood, smiling now, the tension gone, suddenly bubbly and excited. "My boyfriend will be happy. He wasn't very happy with me coming here."

"I wish you well, Beth."

The girl smiled and turned away, headed for the door. As she reached the door, Beth turned and said, "I'll be back and show off Martha to you, or William, whichever it is."

Alice said weakly. "William?"

Beth smiled, disapproval in her eyes and voice. "Yes. I wanted Neil but he's wanted William every since he read a dumb book about a William who conquered some peasants in Europe a long time ago." She sighed deeply, suddenly absorbed in her own thoughts, turned back to the door and was gone.

Alice's eyes were wide, and she resisted the urge to gasp. She sat down heavily, opened her mouth to call after the girl, but could not speak.

William. The Conquerer.

Copyright 1996 Voyle A. Glover

 

 

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